It's always good to talk about family

Merriam-Webster defines family in the following three ways: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head household; a group of persons of common ancestry clan; a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation fellowship (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family).

If you have read any of my blog posts, you know I love my family. I've written about my husband, our kids, our grand-daughters, my mom, among others. Induldge me again, won't you?

Under Webster's first definition, our household these days is...well...small...slight compared to a few years ago. We are just Mark and me! Leah is married and living in North Carolina; Luke is married and living in Fitchburg, and Ben has a summer internship in Madison! Our household numbers two. But I still believe that we are "under one head." Mark is the head of our household, whether we are all living under the same roof or not.

Now is when I hop up on my soapbox and share what I think is one of the  fundamental reasons our world is in the mixed up state it is. In a nutshell, I think that not enough households live "under one head." According to Wikipedia, Politifact estimated in 2012 that the lifelong probability of a marriage ending in divorce is 40-50% Yikes! That's a bummer for adults, but it's a bigger bummer if there are children involved. There are too many kids living under two roofs and under two heads. If you think I'm off the mark, check in with your local elementary school. Any administrative assistant could probably site multiple incidents of children in tears in their office because they were at dad's house last night, but left their homework at mom's house over the weekend. Tears, worries, fear, confusion! And that is just a simple elementary school example. What happens when decisions need to be made about curfew, jobs, friendships, relationships? We have to hope and pray parents maintain consistency between their two households, but as I look around, I think there are far too many children living in a state of constant confusion because of the adults in their life. Confused children grow to be confused adults.

Yesterday, we had the opportunity to take my 87 year old mom to my brother's home on Lake Arrowhead for a graduation party. My nephew graduated from high school and members of our clan gathered to celebrate. Except for a couple girlfriends and those who married into our family, most of us in attendance share a common ancestry. As a family ages, as the patriarch and matriarch age or die, and members grow, marry and move away, it seems the time between gatherings grows longer and longer. It was wonderful to share a Saturday afternoon over good food and drink and catch up with some family members we haven't seen as often as we used to.

On the way back to Kimberly, mom began sharing about her family...her relatives who owned the bar which still carries their last name; how her Uncle Henry died from a burst appendix and Aunt Sus was left with five young children, one a baby in her arms, and the tavern to operate by herself. How mom's grandpa told Sus, "You keep that tavern and operate it. What else are you going to do? We will help you and you will be just fine." How her Uncle Ed and Aunt Hattie had two daughters and lots of land. Uncle Ed was a great carpenter and helped to build a back entrance and three steps on mom's childhood home. He also installed a bathtub in that same home, not a common feature in Kimberly homes of the 1920's and '30's. Her grandpa was a rich man, had land, and shared what he had with his children. I learned a little more about my clan and yesterday's conversation reminded me to tap my mom's memory again soon, so the stories and our family history is not lost.

Today at our 9:30 a.m. mass, a young man was welcomed into our Catholic faith. He recieved the sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and First Eucharist. What is remarkable about his story is that he is an 18 year old from China who originally came to this country last year as an exchange student. As far as I know, he did not practice any religion before coming to the United States. His parents are atheists. They came from China and were at mass this morning. It was a very moving experience for me. He tipped his head into the baptismal font as our priest poured three pitures of blessed water over his head...in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. He changed into his white baptismal garment, was annointed with the oil of Chrism, and members of our RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) program laid hands on him in blessing. He recieved the precious body and blood of our Lord for the first time. He is now my family; We are in fellowship. We share ceratin convictions and are united by our common affiliation.

It's always good to talk about family!

On Wisconsin

If you thought I'd forgotten how to write or that I'd given up writing for good, let me tell you that I have not forgotten how to write (though I'll admit I'm a little rusty), and I still consider myself a writer. I'll save the explanation about my absence for a later post.

I have lived in the Badger state my entire life. Not sure I've ever been more proud of an athletic team than I was of the Badger Men's Basketball Team this past season...what a run! What a team! What fun! Love me some Badgers! Although Badger Nation was not treated to the National Championship we all thought was meant to be, we have lots to be proud of. Mike Lucas said it better than I ever could. Read his thoughts here: http://www.uwbadgers.com/sports/m-baskbl/spec-rel/040715aab.html 

I have lived in the Badger state my entire life. It is April 21, and when I left my house to do some grocery shopping this morning I was forced to wear my leather gloves. Yes, that's right, I donned my winter coat and leather gloves. The wind chill was a balmy 26 degrees...it's April 21, for goodness sake. You would think after 54 years of living in this great state, I would understand that snow showers and wind chills in April are to be expected. The change of seasons is one of the things we Wisconsinites profess to love about our home state. And most of the time, I can get behind this mantra. I love the earthy smell of Spring rain, the warmth of Summer sunshine, the breathtaking colors of Autumn, and the stillness of Winter's blanket of white. But today for some reason, the windchill made me crabby. I came out of Festival Foods and was nearly blown away by a gust of wind. I was cold. It's April 21 and even with my winter coat and gloves on, I was cold. C'mon Spring, you can do it. Get here all ready!  (Looks like I might have to wait on Spring for a bit: http://www.accuweather.com/en/us/kimberly-wi/54136/weather-forecast/2248667 )

I have lived in the Badger state my entire life. And two years ago, on or about this date, our son Luke and future daughter-in-law Bailey, along with Mark and I, waited with great anticipation for the Packer organization to release it's 2013/2014 schedule. Luke and Bailey had chosen an October wedding date and many of the invited quests would need hotel reservations in the Fox Valley. Hotel prices in the fall on Packer home game weekends are through the roof! Needless to say, we were ecstatic when we learned that the Pack would play the Ravens AWAY the weekend of October 11, 2013. We would be able to secure a block of rooms and our guests would be able to save some money.  In case you are interested, here is the link to the 2015/2016 Packer schedule: http://www.packers.com/gameday/schedule.html 
And one quick shout-out to Bailey tonight, who is home recovering from surgery. We are praying for quick and complete healing for you. And to your nurse, Luke, always be ready with a warm smile, a helping hand, and pain medication! ;)

I have lived in the Badger state my entire life. I probably knew these facts about my home state at some point in my lifetime, and I think I'll always remember that the robin is our state bird. For the most part, though, I have forgotten a lot of the information about the 30th state to enter the union. It was interesting to refresh my memory tonight. Check out some fast facts here: http://www.50states.com/wisconsi.htm#.VTb0UJNRK3M

There are lots of great reasons to call Wisconsin home. I'm glad I live here.

Happy New Year!

Since it is still January (barely!), I think it is okay to talk about resolutions.

In 2015, I hope to pray more and complain less. I hope to bring joy to others more often than I bring them down. I hope to further simplify my life and accumulate less. I really hope this is the year Mark and I tackle our basement...it is past due for a cleaning, and I know there is much to be thrown out or given away! I hope to write more, read more, share more good conversation, and encourage others to do the same. I hope to say I'm sorry and seek forgiveness; I hope to be generous in offering forgiveness to others. And I want to be a better wife, mother, and grandmother; a better sister, daughter, and friend.

As I read that previous paragraph I think gosh, I've set the bar pretty high. Words like pray, bring joy, simplify, tackle our basement, write, read, share, encourage, say I'm sorry, offer forgiveness, and be better roll off my tongue easily. Putting them into practice is quite another matter. One way to keep myself on task is to log my successes and failures. And lucky for me, I have this blog!

I hope that as I write about life this year, I find that I am striving to make good on my resolutions.

Happy New Year!

There is always so much learn

Yesterday, my husband Mark and I rang bells for the Salvation Army's Red Kettle campaign. This is the fourth year we have participated as part of Mark's Kiwanis group and its service project for the month of December.

We were less than fifteen minutes in to our two hour shift and a middle-aged woman came up with some loose change. She put it in the kettle and then read the sign that indicated it was a match day (a match day is sponsored by a local business that will match up to $5000 in donations). She quickly said, "I need to go home and get my check. I watch for a match day every year so I can double my money." She put her gloves on and made her way to the exit. At the door, she turned and said, "I'm so happy to be on the other side of this. I was glad many years ago when the Salvation Army showed up at my door with a box for my family. You don't forget that, you know?" And off she went.

A bit later, an older man stopped near our red kettle. He said, "You know we only write checks to two organizations; you people (meaning the Salvation Army, I presume) and Children's Hospital. And do you know why? Because I know where the money goes. Thanks for ringing the bells today." He left with a purpose in his step and a smile on his lips.

An attractive younger woman stopped. Her eyes were brimming with tears. She started to peel single dollar bills from a wad in her fist. We started to thank her and she said, "I have to give a donation. The guy in front of me in the grocery line just paid for my groceries. I could cry." She continued to take dollars from her hand and put them in the kettle. It seemed she just couldn't wrap her brain around the kindness of a stranger. "People are good, aren't they?" Really good," I said. And she said, "Yes, they are. That made my day. I just can't believe it!" 

We saw grandparents with their grandchildren and mom's with their kids. One little guy was with his mom. I guessed him to be five years old. He said, "So why are there two of you here?"  I said, "Well, we like each other. We are married." Mark said, "We're a team. We're married." Our new little five year old friend went on to say, "Well my mom is married to my dad, too. She said she saw my dad and thought he looked nice. He saw her and thought she looked nice, so that's how they got married."  His mom chimed in and said, "I told him I really liked his dad because he had good manners, so I'm hoping he will pick up on those good manners." I think he's off to a good start!

Our shift was over before we knew it, but I hope what I learned Wednesday morning stays with me awhile.  I was reminded to appreciate everything and everyone in my life; that it's a good idea to donate to worthwhile charities; random acts of kindness make a difference for more than just the person who was the object of the kindness; and five year old children have a sweet, simple, innocent vision of the world.

She is remarkable

I wonder if any of my followers (all three of you!) realize that this blog is one year old?!? October 31 of 2013 was my first entry. Since then, I managed to post at least once each month, except for last month. I am proud that I continue to post here and that there are at least a few folks who read what I write. It is my intention to continue to write and maybe become a bit more prolific. But I can't promise, so don't hold your breath!

Perhaps my lack of productivity last month is a result of being away from home. And why, you might ask, was I away? Our daughter Leah, and her husband had their second child, a sweet, precious little girl. So I went to North Carolina to spend two weeks with their wonderful family, helping them transition from a family of three to a family of four, meeting my newest grand-daughter, playing with her 19 month old big sister, caring for our daughter, and watching in awe as our son-in-law put the finishing touches on a beautiful big girl bed he custom built for daughter number one.

As a mom, I didn't think I could be prouder than I was on the day of parent teacher conferences when Leah's kindergarten teacher told Mark and I that she was a very kind child; her teacher would often pair Leah with a student who needed help and confidence, she told us, because Leah was so good with her.

I was a little more proud when Leah was announced as the recipient of both the Student Choice Award (voted on by her classmates) and the Outstanding 8th Grader Award (voted on by the teachers). These awards showed Leah was well-liked and respected by her peers, as well as by those educators she learned from every day.

I was really proud when Leah qualified for the state track meet all four years of high school, when she was selected as the outstanding senior in her graduating class, when she gave one of two graduation speeches, when she got accepted to UW-Madison, and when she received the Dean's Prize in the College of Letters and Science at UW, one of only three awarded among the 4000 members of the 2011 graduating class.

Mark and I were happy and proud walking down the aisle with Leah on her wedding day. As she approached the alter of our Catholic church to share the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony with her soon to be husband, I could not stop smiling and thanking God for the blessing of this daughter of ours, this special, special child. Yes, I was proud. 

I didn't think I could be prouder than on that wedding day...but I am. It was my honor to spend the last two weeks at our daughter's home; to see her and her loving husband work as a team to figure out what their newborn daughter needed; to watch them love each other and love their girls, in spite of severe sleep deprivation; to hear them laugh together, share quiet conversations, and exercise patience when explaining for the 100th time to their 19 month old why she can't hold the baby right now!

It is true what 'they' say about being a grandparent; It really is THE BEST. In my opinion, it is the best, not only because you get to see a brand new life of which you had a tiny hand in creating. But you also get to see your child, the child you parented, parent! That is worth repeating. You get to see your child, the child you parented, parent! It really is a privilege. It really is amazing. Sometimes, it is almost unbelievable.

So I am a proud grandma...and my daughter? Well, she is remarkable!

Ode to My Minivan

We no longer own our van.  Last weekend, my husband drove our 2011 Dodge Caravan from Wisconsin to Kentucky. While Mark was heading south and east, our son-in-law was driving their 2007 Pontiac Grand Prix west from North Carolina to Kentucky. The purpose of the trip was to trade cars. (Lexington Kentucky was a central location and afforded the guys about ten hours of driving on each of two days!) Leah and Nick are expecting their second child in the next week or two. At this stage in their lives, they will benefit from having a van. Two children in car seats in the back of a mini-van seem easier to manage than two children in car seats in the back of a four door car.

I will miss my van for a few reasons. First, I will miss the view. You sit up high in a van and you can see the road really well. I will also miss being able to haul extra people and extra stuff. Our van sat seven very comfortably. If we weren't carrying people, we could stow the seats and treat it like a truck. We packed a lot of stuff in that van when we made our cross-country trip last June and then again mid-August of this year when we moved Ben to Madison. I'll miss the ease of traveling with extra family members, and I'll miss the option of packing more junk than you could ever get in a car's trunk! Finally, I'll miss what driving a mini-van stands for. The era of being a stay at home mom and running from one kids event to another kids practice to picking up the third at school is really and truly over for this stay at home mom. It is over and I miss it. I miss the grade school homework projects, science fairs and choral concerts; I miss the middle school drama; I miss the endless high school activities and sporting events. I miss all the feet under the kitchen table at dinner time...

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not sad. I only miss what was; those were simple days. I don't long to be back living them, though. I'm happy where I am. I like the freedom our empty nest affords. Sometimes, I even like the quiet.

So I say thanks to my mini-van for being a good friend and providing a safe ride. I know she's in good hands. Soon there will be stale cheerios on the floor and hard fruit snacks buried in the creases of the seats. And that's as it should be. 

Look at all that stuff! A van is a lot like a truck.

The van was packed full...it was mighty enough to haul a trailer full of furniture, too!

"The House that Built Me"

It's Thursday August 28, 2014. Other than the hum of the dishwasher, my house is quiet...still...silent...hushed...as if it's keeping a secret.

This week is the last week of summer vacation for elementary, middle, and high school kids. Most college bound students are moving in or have all ready moved back to their college towns and are settling in to dorm rooms or off campus houses (I use the term "houses" loosely here!). Ready or not, the page gets turned and a new chapter begins for all.

As I drove home from Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee late Tuesday afternoon, I thought about this new chapter for me. Just twenty minutes earlier, I watched my pregnant daughter, her husband, and our beautiful 17 month old granddaughter disappear into the Delta Air Lines terminal on their way home to North Carolina. They came home to Wisconsin for a week. They spent the first half of the week in the Milwaukee area with our son-in-law's family, and the second half was spent at two weddings (one in Chicago, one in Wisconsin Dells) and then home in Kimberly. A whirlwind? You bet! Would I change any of it? Sure; I wish our sweet grand-baby wouldn't have gotten an infection requiring a trip to urgent care and a dose of antibiotics. And selfishly, I wish they could have spent the entire week here in Kimberly. The next time we see them in person, they will be a family of four! Chapter One - Baby Makes Four

Our middle son and his wife live in the Madison area and both are in their second year of their respective jobs. They are about six weeks from celebrating their first wedding anniversary. Last year at this time we were ocean deep in the planning and preparation for what would be one of the most holy, meaningful, down right fun celebrations ever! They are two young professionals who live their faith, enjoy their life, and are building a solid foundation for a lasting marriage. I feel so blessed to have gained such a wonderful daughter-in-law. Bailey is the best. She is kind, thoughtful, helpful, fun-loving, sweet, sincere, and beautiful, inside and out. God not only blessed our son Luke, He blessed us all!  Chapter Two - A Love that makes the World Go Around

Just about two weeks ago, we moved our youngest back to Madison. Our minivan was filled to the brim with everything a college guy could want to make his first apartment feel like home. In addition, we pulled a trailer loaded with furniture. It wasn't the smoothest college moving day trip we've ever made (I think we stopped 5 times to secure the load and almost lost his bike; that's material for another post!), but we got the job done. Ben will live his sophomore year in the shadow of Camp Randall Stadium and I'm pretty sure for him it doesn't get much better than that! Chapter Three - Sophomore Year

Mark and I are home, in our very quiet house. I don't think this house is keeping a secret, though. It knows, like I do, that life changes. It seems like one day we are changing our daughter's diapers and the next we are changing her daughter's diapers. One day we are standing in church with our son as he receives the Eucharist for the first time and the next we are watching him walk down the aisle as a married man. One day we are rushing off to pick up our little boy at preschool and the next we are dropping him off at college. Life changes, no doubt, and we can't stop it, no matter how hard we try. Chapter Four - Change

I titled this post after the song with the same name by Miranda Lambert (You can listen to it via the link below). It's one of my favorite songs because it speaks to me about home. I believe that in the midst of change, you can always come home. And home isn't necessarily the house where you grew up or where you live. Home is your people, your family, those you love and those who love you unconditionally. Home can be that quiet place inside where you know you are strong, worthy, and loved. It's that place where you will be okay; that place where you can fall and fail and know that through all the change life brings, you've got this, and it will be alright. Chapter Five - Home

Our beautiful family...my home!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQYNM6SjD_o