Merriam-Webster defines family in the following three ways: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head household; a group of persons of common ancestry clan; a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation fellowship (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family).
If you have read any of my blog posts, you know I love my family. I've written about my husband, our kids, our grand-daughters, my mom, among others. Induldge me again, won't you?
Under Webster's first definition, our household these days is...well...small...slight compared to a few years ago. We are just Mark and me! Leah is married and living in North Carolina; Luke is married and living in Fitchburg, and Ben has a summer internship in Madison! Our household numbers two. But I still believe that we are "under one head." Mark is the head of our household, whether we are all living under the same roof or not.
Now is when I hop up on my soapbox and share what I think is one of the fundamental reasons our world is in the mixed up state it is. In a nutshell, I think that not enough households live "under one head." According to Wikipedia, Politifact estimated in 2012 that the lifelong probability of a marriage ending in divorce is 40-50% Yikes! That's a bummer for adults, but it's a bigger bummer if there are children involved. There are too many kids living under two roofs and under two heads. If you think I'm off the mark, check in with your local elementary school. Any administrative assistant could probably site multiple incidents of children in tears in their office because they were at dad's house last night, but left their homework at mom's house over the weekend. Tears, worries, fear, confusion! And that is just a simple elementary school example. What happens when decisions need to be made about curfew, jobs, friendships, relationships? We have to hope and pray parents maintain consistency between their two households, but as I look around, I think there are far too many children living in a state of constant confusion because of the adults in their life. Confused children grow to be confused adults.
Yesterday, we had the opportunity to take my 87 year old mom to my brother's home on Lake Arrowhead for a graduation party. My nephew graduated from high school and members of our clan gathered to celebrate. Except for a couple girlfriends and those who married into our family, most of us in attendance share a common ancestry. As a family ages, as the patriarch and matriarch age or die, and members grow, marry and move away, it seems the time between gatherings grows longer and longer. It was wonderful to share a Saturday afternoon over good food and drink and catch up with some family members we haven't seen as often as we used to.
On the way back to Kimberly, mom began sharing about her family...her relatives who owned the bar which still carries their last name; how her Uncle Henry died from a burst appendix and Aunt Sus was left with five young children, one a baby in her arms, and the tavern to operate by herself. How mom's grandpa told Sus, "You keep that tavern and operate it. What else are you going to do? We will help you and you will be just fine." How her Uncle Ed and Aunt Hattie had two daughters and lots of land. Uncle Ed was a great carpenter and helped to build a back entrance and three steps on mom's childhood home. He also installed a bathtub in that same home, not a common feature in Kimberly homes of the 1920's and '30's. Her grandpa was a rich man, had land, and shared what he had with his children. I learned a little more about my clan and yesterday's conversation reminded me to tap my mom's memory again soon, so the stories and our family history is not lost.
Today at our 9:30 a.m. mass, a young man was welcomed into our Catholic faith. He recieved the sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and First Eucharist. What is remarkable about his story is that he is an 18 year old from China who originally came to this country last year as an exchange student. As far as I know, he did not practice any religion before coming to the United States. His parents are atheists. They came from China and were at mass this morning. It was a very moving experience for me. He tipped his head into the baptismal font as our priest poured three pitures of blessed water over his head...in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. He changed into his white baptismal garment, was annointed with the oil of Chrism, and members of our RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) program laid hands on him in blessing. He recieved the precious body and blood of our Lord for the first time. He is now my family; We are in fellowship. We share ceratin convictions and are united by our common affiliation.
It's always good to talk about family!
