June 22

My dad would have been 88 years old today. He died almost four years ago. I miss him. I miss his humor, his strength, his faith, his love, his intelligence, his humility, his calm presence, his ability to lead, and I miss him as the other half of mom. He was the best dad and a great man. I love you dad and I always will. Here is the link to his obituary http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/postcrescent/obituary.aspx?pid=152374173

Five years ago today, June 22, 2010, I was told I had ovarian cancer. Dr. Shahbandar's nurse called me mid-morning and told me the results of my blood work were in. She said Dr. Shah wanted to meet with me to discuss them. I stood in stunned silence in the living room of mom and dad's assisted living apartment and knew the news would not be good.

Mark and I met with Dr. Shah early afternoon on that June 22 and he wasted no time in sharing my diagnosis. He entered the exam room and said, "I am so sorry to tell you this, but you have ovarian cancer. This is not at all what I expected, but your blood-work indicates it. We must operate as soon as possible. I think you may have lesions on your colon, so I want Dr. Cheng in the operating room with me. That way, we will only open you up once." He continued to speak about how far treatment had come and that the first step was surgery. I remember thinking, "So this is what that feels like."

Mark and I were stunned and sad. We walked out of the office and took the stairs down to the ground level parking lot. At one point in the stairwell, I turned to Mark; we hugged. I sobbed. He cried too. We were concerned for me, obviously, but I remember worrying about how we would tell the kids. 

Surgery was scheduled for July 8, 2010. After surgery, as I was coming out of the anesthesia, I heard the most beautiful words ever spoken to me by Dr. Shah. "It is not cancer, you do not have cancer!" I wanted to jump off the gurney; I wanted to jump for joy! I could not speak or even open my eyes when first I heard that wonderful news, but when I finally could speak I said, "Praise the Lord!" Dr. Shah told me later that in addition to a complete hysterectomy, he removed a growth the size of a babies head from my abdomen. He also removed my appendix. I had lesions on my colon that would heal. And when Dr. Cheng visited me the next day, he told me they fixed my herniated belly button while they were in there :)

God healed me. I don't know why He did, but He did. And I am so grateful to Him for His goodness and love for me. Legions of people prayed for me in the two weeks from my diagnosis to my surgery. When I say legions, I mean legions. Many people I didn't even know were lifting me in prayer. I could feel the prayers, and I know it is the only thing that got me through those hard two weeks. Prayer and love; love and prayer.

If you are reading this post and you prayed for me in those dark days, thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!! If you don't know me and didn't pray for me but are reading this post, please know that prayer is powerful. Prayer works. I am a living, breathing example.

And since I tend to come 'full circle' in my writing, I'll share this little tidbit. A week after my surgery, I went to see my dad in his nursing home room (we had moved dad from their assisted living apartment into the nursing home and mom to her Hallmark Place senior apartment in the two weeks between my diagnosis and surgery--I'll post about that some other time!). I walked in, took his hand in mine, leaned in close and said, "Hey dad." Without hesitation, he responded, "Hi miracle girl."

I have tears in my eyes and it is good to be alive on this June 22, 2015! Also, I found this great song that fits my post. Hope you enjoy it!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOCQQQ7-GQI&list=RDEOCQQQ7-GQI

Geriatric Road Trip

Yesterday, I was blessed to be able to take my mom and two women who live in her apartment building to a funeral. The gentlemen whose life we were going to celebrate had also lived in their apartment building. Our destination was Immaculate Conception Church in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

I picked up the gals at 9:15 in the morning. Mom sat beside me in the passenger seat of our Nissan Armada and Ceil and Evvy took the seats behind ours. Mom and Ceil are 87 years old, and Evvy is 88 years old. I am 54. If my math is correct, the average age in my vehicle yesterday was 79. Definitely a geriatric road trip!

We were less than ten minutes down the road and Ceil asked if I had a GPS. "Do you know where we are going, Mary?" I assured her that I had put the address of our destination in my iPhone and I would get us to the church on time. :)  She wasn't worked up or nervous, just curious. And that is understandable. Ceil is usually the driver; usually the one in control, the one who knows where she is going. She has taken mom to church and other funerals when my schedule hasn't allowed me to do it. I have known Ceil for a long time; she and her husband were friends of mom and dad's for many years.

I met Evvy for the first time yesterday. I would define her as refined; a classy dame who was well-kept, wore nice clothes, and fine jewelry. She was friendly and kind and loves to laugh. She told a funny story about her young grandson. Years ago, he was frustrated with a toy and swore---  "_ _ _ Dammit," he shouted. His grandpa heard him and said, "What did you just say?"  The little guy didn't miss a beat and responded, "Well, what did you just hear?" :)

I've known my mom my whole life! She sat in the front seat and watched the Wisconsin landscape zip by. We talked about the beauty of our state, the shades of green you see at this time of year, and how much we love living here where the seasons change four times a year (sort of). Mom is hard to hear these days because she is quite soft spoken and isn't able to project her voice due in part to her osteoporosis. The noises of automobile travel don't help, so she spoke and I tried to hear what she had to say, while the gals in the back kept up a steady banter between them.

We arrived on time and were able to celebrate a beautiful funeral mass in honor and memory of our friend, Andy. Andy was my friend, too, since one of his daughters is a friend of mine. He was 91 years old when he died. Andy was a remarkable man. 'Kind,' 'gentle,' and 'humble' were just a few of the words his son used to describe him during the eulogy. There were some tears, but mostly hugs, smiles, and shared stories to honor a truly decent human being. We all are better people for having known Andy, and I am certain God opened the gates of heaven Himself and said, "Come on in, Andy. You're home."

We were back in the car and heading North on I43 by 12:30 p.m. I dropped the ladies off shortly before 2:00 p.m. and had all I could do to decline Ceil's offer to help pay for gas. It was a thoughtful gesture, I thanked her, but I was quick to refuse it. I shook Evvy's hand and said I hoped to see her again.And I meant it. I kissed mom on the cheek, gave her a hug and whispered "I love you" in her ear, and jumped back in my car.

As I pulled out of the parking lot and glanced back toward the apartment building I couldn't help but notice those three women having one last word with each other out in the brilliant afternoon sunshine before moving inside. A lot of wisdom there, I thought, a whole lot of wisdom.

If ever you get the chance, take a geriatric road trip. And in the mean time, take a listen to one of my favorite Bee Gee's songs about life.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2nMFrkL4l8
 

A word about friendship

I have some really good friends. Yesterday, I spent the better part of my day with Amy, my oldest and truest friend. We watched her son play in his high school sectional baseball games. What fun! He played shortstop in the first game and in game two, he pitched two innings, as well as played shortstop. The team, Kimberly High School, won the sectional and advanced to the state baseball championship next week at Fox Cities Stadium in Appleton. Good for them, but better for me since I got to share the day with Amy.

Amy and I have been friends since we were two years old. Our mom's talk about the day the Vosters moved into the house at 137 Jefferson Place. Amy's mom came across the street, saw me in the playpen and said, "Well, you are going to be just right for our Amy." That was 52 years ago; she was so right! Amy is the best. She is fun, funny, true to herself, interested in others, loving, faithful, faith-filled, honest, kind, caring...just the very best kind of person you want in your life! I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for her friendship and love. I am blessed, indeed.

This morning, I met two good friends for coffee. Alice is 81 years old and Betty will be 77 later this year. Among other things, I share my love of reading and writing with these two "gems." In fact, for several years we three were members of the "Unpolished Gems," a local group of writers who met monthly to share stories and poems. We would critique one another's writing, always with an eye to  better our craft. We read our original stories as part of a 'dinner theater' at Atlas Cafe and Coffee Mill in Appleton.  And we even held a writing contest for Kaukauna High School students, awarding cash prizes for first through third place at each grade level. 

Betty and Alice are wise and wonderful women. We don't see each other often, but when we do, we do not lack for conversation. Today was an extra special treat. As we conversed over coffee (I had a strawberry/banana smoothie--yum!) and scones, Alice began talking about her garden and how much work she has been doing in it. The next thing we knew, she offered to take us on a tour!

We drove the few short miles to her Combined Locks home. She met us in the driveway holding wide brimmed hats! "Just in case the sun bothers you," she said. Have I mentioned that I love Alice?!? I love Alice...and Betty too!  We had a lovely tour through her garden, and as I'm writing this, I realize the only pictures I took were of us, not the beauty of Alice's garden. Oops! Perhaps I'll be lucky enough to stop in at her home again soon...if I do, I'll be sure to take some photos of the beauty in her backyard!

Friends come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. Today I am grateful for my friends; the ones I've known almost a lifetime, those I've yet to meet, and every one in between.

Winter 1969-Amy is in the red hood. I'm in my brother's hand-me-down winter coat!

A more recent photo of Amy with her husband, Matt. Matt is my first cousin!

Left to Right:  Me, Betty, and Alice wearing our lovely garden hats!

A friend is what the heart needs all the time. ~Henry Van Dyke