We woke this morning to our beautiful Christmas tree laying on the floor in our family room! Sometime during the night, it came down! And that is a first. In 27 years of marriage, we've never had a Christmas tree fall.
When I sent a family text informing the kids about the tree's tumble, daughter Leah responded with this text: "If a tree falls in the middle of the family room and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" I actually laughed when I got that response because by that time, the tree was upright and wired to the wall to prevent any future mishap (we hope!).
A quick damage assessment revealed water from the tree stand soaked into our family room rug and pad, the tree skirt, and several cloth ornaments. In addition, our wood laminate floor got wet. A few rag towels are drying in the dryer as I'm typing this. We lost several needles and some small ends of branches prematurely, but all have been vacuumed up. The rug and pad remain rolled back and 'propped' on the leather ottoman and a card table chair in an effort to get them dried out. As best I can tell, only one ornament needs repair. And by the grace of God, not a single wrapped gift got wet! This is the
first Christmas our gifts have been wrapped and under the tree before
Christmas Eve. After the overnight extracurricular activity, it is quite
possible it will be the last...we'll get the wrapping done early; I
just won't put the gifts under the tree so soon.
In the grand scheme of life, waking to find your Christmas tree laying in the middle of the floor is not high on the list of awful things that can happen. Our usual casual morning wake up involving coffee, conversation, and Good Morning America got interrupted, but that is not the end of the world. I think only one swear word was uttered during the process of getting the tree back to its upright position. I did an extra load of laundry today; again, not a big deal. I had to redress the tree, but truth be told, I looked at several ornaments with more fondness than I had the first time I decorated it as I placed them on the branches this second time. Oh, Christmas tree, indeed!
In honor of my tree... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw6h4mZO1oU
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
A Word About Change
My mom is 85 years old. It seems her world, the one she lives in, is quite different than the one she might have imagined for herself. She lives alone in a modest one bedroom apartment. I don't think she ever envisioned living alone, and until my dad went into the nursing home three years ago, she had never lived all by herself. She went from living with her parents to living with my dad for almost 62 years. Dad died in July of 2011, and Mom continues to live all alone.
Mom doesn't do much cooking for herself anymore. This from a woman who loves to eat and always had lots of food in the house. Many memories from childhood include mom over the stove making really good food. She welcomed friends and strangers to their home on Jefferson Place at all hours of the day or night and there was always enough food to go around. She and dad provided many a Sunday evening dinner for our family. I wouldn't feel like cooking for Mark and the kids, so we'd call them on a Sunday afternoon and drop in for a visit and a meal. Now at least once a week, mom shares a meal at our house.
About a month ago, mom decided to give up her car. I and my siblings had several conversations with her about this possibility before she actually made the decision. We reassured her that we would make sure her refrigerator was well-stocked, get her to medical appointments, and take care of her needs. She cried a few tears, but has processed the change and adapted well. Now she is completely dependent on others for transportation.
Mom uses a walker to get around her apartment building. And before the wheeled walker, she used a cane. Back in the day, Mom could run circles around most people, walking at a fast clip wherever she went. She would take my sister and I downtown shopping and we would have to almost run to keep up. Moss did not grow under mom's feet! Now she moves at a much slower pace; in social settings, she stops often to chat with a friend which ensures that we don't get anywhere fast these days.
Mom's voice is very quiet. She has a difficult time projecting her voice and in crowds of people, she is impossible to hear. Her 'low talking' is a product of her physical condition-she has osteoporosis and is quite hunched over. As a result she has no muscle support to help her project. In addition, her vocal cords are 85 years old and lack collagen. Since my mom never worked outside the home, her business was people. She spent a lot of time talking and listening to friends and people who sought her advice and counsel over the years. Now, people still seek her advice. They just have to work harder to glean her wisdom and she has to work harder to be heard.
I love my mom. I've always appreciated her presence in my life. And recently, I've tried to slow myself down in an effort to empathize with her reality. I'm 52 years old and some days, I don't think or feel much older than when I was 32. I suspect mom has similar feelings. Longing for that younger woman or that long past life doesn't bring her or it back. Remembering those times and sharing the stories helps us realize and appreciate how we got to the present; to who we are today.
I think it is important to help my mom see how really good her life is. Yes, there has been change and more often than not, change is difficult. But change is one of life's only constants. Rolling with it, embracing it, and celebrating it seem much more positive than just enduring it.
David Bowie had a little something to say about change...I always liked this song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8
Mom doesn't do much cooking for herself anymore. This from a woman who loves to eat and always had lots of food in the house. Many memories from childhood include mom over the stove making really good food. She welcomed friends and strangers to their home on Jefferson Place at all hours of the day or night and there was always enough food to go around. She and dad provided many a Sunday evening dinner for our family. I wouldn't feel like cooking for Mark and the kids, so we'd call them on a Sunday afternoon and drop in for a visit and a meal. Now at least once a week, mom shares a meal at our house.
About a month ago, mom decided to give up her car. I and my siblings had several conversations with her about this possibility before she actually made the decision. We reassured her that we would make sure her refrigerator was well-stocked, get her to medical appointments, and take care of her needs. She cried a few tears, but has processed the change and adapted well. Now she is completely dependent on others for transportation.
Mom uses a walker to get around her apartment building. And before the wheeled walker, she used a cane. Back in the day, Mom could run circles around most people, walking at a fast clip wherever she went. She would take my sister and I downtown shopping and we would have to almost run to keep up. Moss did not grow under mom's feet! Now she moves at a much slower pace; in social settings, she stops often to chat with a friend which ensures that we don't get anywhere fast these days.
Mom's voice is very quiet. She has a difficult time projecting her voice and in crowds of people, she is impossible to hear. Her 'low talking' is a product of her physical condition-she has osteoporosis and is quite hunched over. As a result she has no muscle support to help her project. In addition, her vocal cords are 85 years old and lack collagen. Since my mom never worked outside the home, her business was people. She spent a lot of time talking and listening to friends and people who sought her advice and counsel over the years. Now, people still seek her advice. They just have to work harder to glean her wisdom and she has to work harder to be heard.
I love my mom. I've always appreciated her presence in my life. And recently, I've tried to slow myself down in an effort to empathize with her reality. I'm 52 years old and some days, I don't think or feel much older than when I was 32. I suspect mom has similar feelings. Longing for that younger woman or that long past life doesn't bring her or it back. Remembering those times and sharing the stories helps us realize and appreciate how we got to the present; to who we are today.
I think it is important to help my mom see how really good her life is. Yes, there has been change and more often than not, change is difficult. But change is one of life's only constants. Rolling with it, embracing it, and celebrating it seem much more positive than just enduring it.
David Bowie had a little something to say about change...I always liked this song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Advent
Today we observe the first Sunday of Advent, the beginning of a new church year. For as long as I can remember, Advent was celebrated in our home. Mom and Dad made that a priority. We always had an Advent wreath which Mom constructed from fresh green boughs. In the early years, she secured the evergreen branches over two simple wood crosspieces with coat hanger wire, then later with floral wire. She would add three purple candles and one pink candle around the wreath and finish with four bows made from deep purple silk ribbon placed at the base of each candle. Every night as part of our meal prayer Dad would recite the prayer and reflection for the day, and then one of the six of us kids would get to light the candle. Each week, we would add a lit candle until all four candles glowed in celebration of the nearness of remembering Christ's birth. Mark and I continue this tradition with our family.
The church shows great wisdom in celebrating this holy season when it does. At this time of year, our days get shorter. There is more darkness than light. Temperatures are colder so people tend to stay indoors and keep to themselves. It is at this very time of dark and cold that we celebrate the birthday of the Light of the World! God knew His creation was in need of light. We are dark and stingy with our love for neighbor; we are cold and selfish about sharing our gifts. So He sent Jesus, His only son, to be born in a humble stable. He sent Jesus to show us how to live. This light, this Jesus, pierces the dark and cold of our hearts with the light and warmth of his love! Praise God for His necessary and amazing gift!
In reflecting on our first reading from the prophet Isaiah (Chapter 2:1-5) at last evening's mass, Fr. Bob said, "If the love of God is not first in your life, you won't know what to do with the rest of the goods in your life." Well, if that isn't a challenge to me for this Advent season, I don't know what is. I have no doubt I'll be blessed with many opportunities to practice my love of God as the season unfolds. Gifts to buy, cards to write, house to decorate, parties to attend, family and volunteer obligations that don't disappear just because it's the Christmas season. Oh yes, lots of chances to get my love of God right this year. I better finish this post and get busy loving!
"O house of Jacob, come, let us walk in the light of the Lord!" ~ Isaiah 2:5
The church shows great wisdom in celebrating this holy season when it does. At this time of year, our days get shorter. There is more darkness than light. Temperatures are colder so people tend to stay indoors and keep to themselves. It is at this very time of dark and cold that we celebrate the birthday of the Light of the World! God knew His creation was in need of light. We are dark and stingy with our love for neighbor; we are cold and selfish about sharing our gifts. So He sent Jesus, His only son, to be born in a humble stable. He sent Jesus to show us how to live. This light, this Jesus, pierces the dark and cold of our hearts with the light and warmth of his love! Praise God for His necessary and amazing gift!
In reflecting on our first reading from the prophet Isaiah (Chapter 2:1-5) at last evening's mass, Fr. Bob said, "If the love of God is not first in your life, you won't know what to do with the rest of the goods in your life." Well, if that isn't a challenge to me for this Advent season, I don't know what is. I have no doubt I'll be blessed with many opportunities to practice my love of God as the season unfolds. Gifts to buy, cards to write, house to decorate, parties to attend, family and volunteer obligations that don't disappear just because it's the Christmas season. Oh yes, lots of chances to get my love of God right this year. I better finish this post and get busy loving!
"O house of Jacob, come, let us walk in the light of the Lord!" ~ Isaiah 2:5
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Update
(This post is a follow-up to the post on November 10, 2013)
Chapter 3 - I Like Computers
I am six days post-purchase of my Toshiba laptop. Six days using Windows 8, and I am pleased with my progress. I spend a lot of time reading tutorials and watching videos in an effort to become confident and efficient with my "new" system. So far, so good.
With anything new, there is a substantial learning curve, and it seems the older I get, the longer the curve. But I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. I get a kick out of typing a question into the search bar, finding an answer I can understand, implementing the process, and achieving success.
I consider myself a lover of education; a lifelong learner. And in the last week, I've had a great chance to practice what I preach. I went from a frustrated woman unable to download a simple search engine to a less frustrated woman teaching herself how to make this machine work! I give myself a B+!
Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow. ~ Anthony J. D'Angelo
Chapter 3 - I Like Computers
I am six days post-purchase of my Toshiba laptop. Six days using Windows 8, and I am pleased with my progress. I spend a lot of time reading tutorials and watching videos in an effort to become confident and efficient with my "new" system. So far, so good.
With anything new, there is a substantial learning curve, and it seems the older I get, the longer the curve. But I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. I get a kick out of typing a question into the search bar, finding an answer I can understand, implementing the process, and achieving success.
I consider myself a lover of education; a lifelong learner. And in the last week, I've had a great chance to practice what I preach. I went from a frustrated woman unable to download a simple search engine to a less frustrated woman teaching herself how to make this machine work! I give myself a B+!
Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow. ~ Anthony J. D'Angelo
Sunday, November 10, 2013
So Much to Say...Maybe
My mind is full. There are many topics I could write about, yet nothing in particular has jumped out as 'blog worthy.' Since I don't want to risk not posting for weeks or using a lack of subject matter as an excuse not to write, I'll just start with a thought and see where it takes me. Please bear with me.
Chapter One - Our Computer Woes
This week at our house has been all about computers. We have known for many months, perhaps a few years, that our desk top was limping along, on its last leg, ready for the great computer recycle heap in the sky. You get the idea! The very important function our desk top was performing, however, was keeping track of our financial accounts. It housed three checkbook records in the "My Money" program. Note my use of past tense...was performing, was keeping, it housed.
Last Tuesday morning, following a three hour loss of cable television, phone, and Internet capability due to "an outage in your service area" (no kidding), I was delighted when the TV in the kitchen came back to life. The desk top was not so lucky. To my dismay, it would not stop 're-booting' itself. That's right, it just kept looping from a shut down mode to start up, but wouldn't let me open any accounts. The desktop died, right there, rather suddenly after about ten years of good service.
Chapter Two - Our Computer Woes Continue
My laptop is three plus years old, so it is getting to the end of its life. Our youngest son, a freshman at the University of Wisconsin Madison, purchased a new Macbook Air before leaving for college this fall. He left behind his HP laptop. My thought was that when my laptop quit, I'd just use his. However, when the desktop died, Mark suggested we load our data on to our son's old HP. Sounded like a good idea at the time.
The Geek Squad had our desk top tower for 24 hours, and $150 later, they had cleaned the hard drive, and loaded the data onto an external hard drive. Mark brought the external hard drive home and attempted, over the course of several hours, to get our Money data loaded onto our son's HP. Well, that was not going to happen; not in this lifetime! Mark spoke with an 'agent' who told him to bring the external hard drive back along with the laptop; the Geek Squad would load it for us. Mark was standing in the store and two hours into the "process" the HP's hard drive fried! If you are counting, that's two computers in two days!
Over the last 72 hours, our one and only laptop, my almost four year old Dell, has been in the capable hands of the Geek Squad, as they attempt to load our check book data. The message from the 'Agent' was on our answering machine last night. "Just wanted to give you a status update on the Dell computer you have with us. Please contact us at your earliest convenience..." Mark is on his way, at this moment, to see what status update they have for us...I must admit, I'm not overly optimistic.
All is not lost, though. I am typing this post on my brand new laptop! Can I just say, yippee?!!!? Windows 8 will take some getting used to, but all in all, I think I made out pretty well.
Stay tuned for Chapter Three.
Chapter One - Our Computer Woes
This week at our house has been all about computers. We have known for many months, perhaps a few years, that our desk top was limping along, on its last leg, ready for the great computer recycle heap in the sky. You get the idea! The very important function our desk top was performing, however, was keeping track of our financial accounts. It housed three checkbook records in the "My Money" program. Note my use of past tense...was performing, was keeping, it housed.
Last Tuesday morning, following a three hour loss of cable television, phone, and Internet capability due to "an outage in your service area" (no kidding), I was delighted when the TV in the kitchen came back to life. The desk top was not so lucky. To my dismay, it would not stop 're-booting' itself. That's right, it just kept looping from a shut down mode to start up, but wouldn't let me open any accounts. The desktop died, right there, rather suddenly after about ten years of good service.
Chapter Two - Our Computer Woes Continue
My laptop is three plus years old, so it is getting to the end of its life. Our youngest son, a freshman at the University of Wisconsin Madison, purchased a new Macbook Air before leaving for college this fall. He left behind his HP laptop. My thought was that when my laptop quit, I'd just use his. However, when the desktop died, Mark suggested we load our data on to our son's old HP. Sounded like a good idea at the time.
The Geek Squad had our desk top tower for 24 hours, and $150 later, they had cleaned the hard drive, and loaded the data onto an external hard drive. Mark brought the external hard drive home and attempted, over the course of several hours, to get our Money data loaded onto our son's HP. Well, that was not going to happen; not in this lifetime! Mark spoke with an 'agent' who told him to bring the external hard drive back along with the laptop; the Geek Squad would load it for us. Mark was standing in the store and two hours into the "process" the HP's hard drive fried! If you are counting, that's two computers in two days!
Over the last 72 hours, our one and only laptop, my almost four year old Dell, has been in the capable hands of the Geek Squad, as they attempt to load our check book data. The message from the 'Agent' was on our answering machine last night. "Just wanted to give you a status update on the Dell computer you have with us. Please contact us at your earliest convenience..." Mark is on his way, at this moment, to see what status update they have for us...I must admit, I'm not overly optimistic.
All is not lost, though. I am typing this post on my brand new laptop! Can I just say, yippee?!!!? Windows 8 will take some getting used to, but all in all, I think I made out pretty well.
Stay tuned for Chapter Three.
Monday, November 4, 2013
My Guy
There are only two people who know I have started a blog--my daughter and my husband.
I had no intention of 'gushing' about my husband this early in the game, but Mark walked in the door last Friday noon with a dozen roses. The card read, "I love you and I'm proud of you, honey." I asked, "You're proud of me?" And he responded, "Ya, the blog and everything else you do." Now I'm pretty sure he has yet to visit this blog, but I really have no choice but to gush, do I?
Everyone who is happily married probably says I have the best husband. Well, mine is really the best. And what makes him the best is that he supports me and loves me all the time. Not just when it's easy and life is going well, but all the time. He holds me when I'm sad and laughs with me when life is funny. He trusts God's plan for our lives and challenges me to be better, to do better, to love better. I am grateful for his solid faith, his strength of character, his love for our children and grandchild, his sense of humor, his work ethic, his generous spirit, and his compassion for others.
Twenty seven and a half years later, I'm so glad we said "I do." This past August, we started a new chapter--The Empty Nest. I cannot think of anyone I'd rather empty nest it with than my guy. Here's to you, Mark. I love you!
~"...As a matter of opinion, I think he's tops. My opinion is he's the cream of the crop..."
-Mary Wells
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgwpHYzcwUA
I had no intention of 'gushing' about my husband this early in the game, but Mark walked in the door last Friday noon with a dozen roses. The card read, "I love you and I'm proud of you, honey." I asked, "You're proud of me?" And he responded, "Ya, the blog and everything else you do." Now I'm pretty sure he has yet to visit this blog, but I really have no choice but to gush, do I?
Everyone who is happily married probably says I have the best husband. Well, mine is really the best. And what makes him the best is that he supports me and loves me all the time. Not just when it's easy and life is going well, but all the time. He holds me when I'm sad and laughs with me when life is funny. He trusts God's plan for our lives and challenges me to be better, to do better, to love better. I am grateful for his solid faith, his strength of character, his love for our children and grandchild, his sense of humor, his work ethic, his generous spirit, and his compassion for others.
Twenty seven and a half years later, I'm so glad we said "I do." This past August, we started a new chapter--The Empty Nest. I cannot think of anyone I'd rather empty nest it with than my guy. Here's to you, Mark. I love you!
-Mary Wells
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgwpHYzcwUA
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Nobody's Perfect
I learned long ago that in the world of writing, the best thing to do is just sit down, face the blank page, and start. It has been a week since my daughter helped me create this blog. So why did it take me a week to write? I think it has something to do with not wanting to make a mistake, or maybe it's because I really don't have a clue about what to write, or maybe it's about feeling extra pressure to make this first post count. Since I promised myself I would post before the end of the month, here I go.
This morning was one of those fall mornings in Wisconsin; rainy, foggy, damp...the perfect kind of Halloween morning that makes you want to stay in bed, grab the novel from the nightstand, get a cup of coffee, and read the day away. Well that didn't happen, but it was a nice thought. Before I got out of bed, the words 'nobody's perfect'
bounced around inside my head. My creative process usually starts that
way; a thought, an idea, or a word just won't leave me alone until I
give it its due. Today, 'nobody's perfect' was the inspiration I needed to finally formulate this post!
Merriam-Webster defines perfect as being entirely without fault or defect. On the surface, there is no person, situation, or experience that is perfect. My head easily agrees. My heart has a tougher time. When I look into the beautiful blue eyes of our 7 month old granddaughter, I see perfection. When I watch the way my son looks at his new wife (they have been married almost three weeks), I see perfection. When I hear a piece of music sung or performed in a way that brings tears to my eyes, I hear perfection. When I walk through the park near my home and see a brilliant red and gold carpet made by the fallen leaves, I experience perfection.
Maybe like beauty, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. If we look with the eyes of love, we see beauty, grace and yes, perfection. I think love is so transformational it can raise the bar for perfection. I think by giving someone the benefit of the doubt rather than focusing on a weakness, we promote perfection. Providing support, helping someone feel good about what he has to offer, and taking time to listen advance the cause of perfection. Internally, loving myself enough to give myself a break from time to time gives me an opportunity to strive for perfection. And in the striving for perfection, in the journey toward perfection, change happens, learning happens, growth happens.
So maybe nobody's perfect...or maybe everyone is...
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